Disenchanted
Disenchanted,
the Guillotine Master
took to drink.
He masked it well until
the day he slurred,
Look out below!
as he released the blade.
That Kind of Gal
Mr. Higby warned Gordon Jenkins about dating his daughter, but Gordon wasn’t interested in what Old Man Higby said.
Gordon Jenkins wanted to put it to Samantha Higby, and anything Mr. Higby said to dissuade Gordon was wasted breath.
Gordon appreciated Mr. Higby’s approach: he tried to convince Gordon his daughter was bad news, but Gordon knew all about the old guy’s crazy notions.
Talk around town was Mr. Higby scared off more than one of Samantha’s beaus, but it wasn’t Old Man Higby at all. It was Samantha: she was a love ‘em and kill ‘em kind of gal.
There Goes the Neighborhood
The end came quickly as rain fell in unrelenting sheets. Only those lucky enough to have boats and quick enough to use them had a chance, but few found anything left above ground.
Martin Puck had a canoe in his garage. As the water threatened, he climbed into it and left. Three days later, he spotted the castle and thanked God.
Approaching the mansion, he feared its owner would refuse him admittance. At the same time, he hoped he wasn’t alone.
Near the doorbell, a plate identified the home’s owner as Drake Koolah.
As the door swung open, Martin screamed.
Young Monster Duncan
Young Monster Duncan moved home-to-home
in search of a bed under which to live.
Sadly, Duncan reached the last house on the block
where he learned the Smiths had promised their children
no monsters were under their beds.
One Way Tickets Sold Here
In the clearing were doorways leading nowhere. People danced at the periphery of my vision, but when I turned to look, whatever had been there disappeared.
I heard a carnival barker,
“Ladies and gentlemen, step right up. Secure your place in Hell before time and space run out. Don’t get caught going down without planning your eternity in advance.”
My feet moved forward, stopping me in front of a door. In my hand was a ticket.
I’d swear it was a dream save for the burning sensation in my palm and the sound of a conductor’s voice calling,
“All Aboard.”
6 Feet Below
The Gloom County Medical Examiner’s
sense of humor followed her in death.
Her tombstone read:
Here lies Jess Moore.
Details [6 feet] below.
Stolen
Granted a night of freedom, Juventus was doomed to spend the rest of his days in a naked pose of humiliation after missing his curfew.
Reasons I Miss Welcome Back, Kotter
- Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington reading Harry Pot-tair
- Gabe Kaplan has time to play televised poker.
- The theme song
- Gabe Kaplan has time to commentate televised poker.
- It allowed me to pretend teachers and students were a team.
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